Framed By The Frogs
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'NO LAW OR ORDINANCE IS MIGHTIER THAN UNDERSTANDING'

Plato, Greek author and philosopher, 427 BC - 347 BC


'I DON'T HAVE TO ATTEND EVERY ARGUMENT I'M INVITED TO'

W C Fields, Actor, 1880 - 1946

'Nuff said.


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ANDREW BRUCE, SERLE COURT CHAMBERS:

".... this particular statement by Andrew Bruce was outrageous, it was completely untrue, and in the heat of the moment I considered it a blatant attempt to cover up just exactly when Renault knew for certain what was happening with the BALPA account, but still continued to let me buy cars. I couldn’t let it go by. I just butted in.

‘I’m sorry’ I blurted out ‘but Mr Bruce knows very well that the audit didn’t take place until September, just before proceedings commenced, yet IBB Law has told me in writing that the unauthorised web site access that took place almost six months earlier happened because the employees involved believed they were investigating a fraud, which means that the conclusion on fraud couldn’t possibly have first come from the audit.’" Read more ...

ANDREW BRUCE, SERLE COURT CHAMBERS, IN COURT

In this extract from 'Framed By The Frogs' barrister Andrew Bruce has begun to cross-examine me:

"Feeling extremely pleased with himself at having extracted his first confession out of me, barrister Andrew Bruce has just done something extraordinary. He has put his tongue into the bottom right side of his cheek and held it there, looking at His Lordship, waiting for a second to make sure he has His Lordship’s attention and then slowly, tongue still in lower right cheek, he has cocked his head at a slight angle, pursed his lips and given His Lordship a half-wink, a kind of conspiratorial look between Judges which I think Andrew Bruce intends to say ‘Well, there you are, Your Lordship, this man is a liar and I have just demonstrated it.’.

But I can hardly contain myself – I want to laugh out loud. You see, there is a pub game doing the rounds which requires participants to demonstrate their ‘sex face’. In other words, to try and pull the face that they make when, during sexual intercourse, the proceedings have just reached their objective, so to speak.

Now down at the pub this is quite funny and it can be guaranteed to have everyone falling about laughing, especially when alcohol has lubricated the participants to the point where it becomes competitive and folk try to make the most extraordinarily ludicrous faces.

But for one brief, terrifying, ‘Reginald Perrin’ type moment, in my mind’s eye I can see Mr Bruce looking upon Mrs Bruce, having made his point so to speak, and giving her that same conspiratorial look, as if to say ‘Well, there you are then, my dear, my mission is accomplished.’. But this is now; not in the bedroom, nor the pub, but here, in Courtroom 66 of the Royal Courts of Justice. As far as I’m concerned, Andrew Bruce has just made his sex face to a High Court Judge. And that’s it. Mr Bruce has delivered up to me the method by which I will take him on. The perfect instrument for me in the psychological battle of wills that is to come." More of Andrew Bruce ...
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